Monday, March 3, 2014

Countdown to Padre: 4 Days (Screw-Ups and Spiritual Warfare)

(Unlike last year, where all of my Beach Reach writings were on Another Ascending Lark, I will be doing all of my Beach Reach posting/updating here.)

I am quite sick and tired of snow.

Around 5:30 AM, as I limped out the door of my Canyon apartment, a bitter breeze slapped me in the face. Sluggishly I rounded the corner to where my car was parked and found it totally iced up. I turn the car on, grab the scraper out of my back seat, and begin de-icing my ride. Several minutes later, the car is drivable, but I am not. Early mornings and frigid temperatures do wicked things to the body - needless to say, it wasn't until I neared Amarillo city limits before I could move my fingers again. 

I arrive at the FM90 station for my morning shift just in time to turn the transmitter on and fire off the legal ID. Normally, by the time I fire the sign on ID, I have already checked the weather, the setlist, everything, but today I fire it with seconds to spare and nothing prepared. What then followed for the next three hours was probably the worst day on the air I've had - by the time my replacement showed up, my palm was still planted on my face for absolutely butchering my news piece just minutes prior.

Now it's close to 9:30, and I have another hour to wait before class starts (where I will undoubtedly get asked "dude, what happened today?" by my classmates and professor). Despite my Sabbath rest yesterday, I am already exhausted. The cold morning, the bad day at the radio, and another freezing bug-slaying afternoon are putting me in a less-than-stellar condition, physically and mentally.

This all before the fact that we leave for Beach Reach in four days. I haven't even gotten there yet.

I still have shopping (and packing) I need to get done for the trip. Friday aside, my normal schedule is still in place, meaning early mornings, long days, and packed evenings. Even though this is my third Beach Reach, and I know the system in and out, I feel completely unprepared to go. I am horribly out of shape as an apologist (thank goodness we have an 15+ hour drive before us), I am starting the week off on fumes, and I am doubting my ability to do the work the Lord has called me to do.

Hopefully you caught that possessive pronoun before the word "ability". It's the wrong pronoun. Heck, its the wrong phrase.

One does not simply go down to Beach Reach in order to show off their evangelistic/apologetic/missional muscles. At least, nobody usually makes past a day or two of ministry before reaching their tipping point of their own strength. I fight feel like a screw up at the moment, subjected to the jeers and taunts of spiritual warfare, but perhaps that's not a bad thing. Rather than being confident in my fleshly abilities as a think tank, experienced apologist, and Beach Reach veteran, I have no choice but to turn to Christ and rest in Him. Not only that, I have no choice but to worship him for the fact that He is the one who equips me for the work He has called me to do.

I will have what I need. It may not be what I *want*, but it will be what I need to make Christ famous.

/end pre-update 1

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